Double Vision: The Reattachment Movement begins

Many things that would seem to be very different are actually surprisingly similar.

-Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton

-Hot Cheetos and Firey Hot Cheetos

-Jesus and I

-Jon Chao and My Dream Girl

-Women and Objects

-Asians and Calculators

-All mainstream rappers

-Geoffrey Goddard and Justin Passek

 

The last one, Geoffrey and Justin, is an interesting case. The two Head-Royce students both live in North Berkeley. The appearances are the same (although Justin is extra pubescent). The tall blondes each have awful hair and are goofy guys. Each has an interest in soccer. Both happened to play JV soccer freshman year, and then get called up to varsity. They also happen to play on the same Sting soccer team outside of school. They both take two languages, both of which are French and Latin. Each of them participated in the Bike to School event and were both biking with the group known as “Beast Mode Boys Boys”.

GeeGee and JayPee are essentially the same person. On Friday the 16^th of May, Geoffrey and Justin happened to each have a black line written on the same arm. On this day, they got off at the same bus stop together, and were both going to the same store to purchase some new shoes. To top it off, they both could not find shoes they were looking for. These similarities are becoming disturbing. It seems to me that Justin is copying his style. Metaphorically, Justin is suckling on Geoffrey’s lactating nipples.

            It has been rumored that Wendell and Dessa cloned Geoffrey, and Justin is the product. This would guarantee the production of a successful child. In Asian cultures it is common to mass produce children to secure a comfortable retirement for the parents. Jon Chao is an example of an Asian. This theory is supported by the fact that they were born two days apart. It is very concievable that the Goddards cloned Geoffrey during these two days.

            Perhaps they were Siamese twins that were separated at birth. This would explain their distorted faces.

            In an effort to bring these two brothers back together, I propose a reattachment. The reattachment would return the system to its natural order, the way God meant it to be. The Reattachment Movement begins here and now!

-Theo

 

~ by mjonez on May 17, 2008.